Think about how many times you've been in a great mood,
looking forward to seeing your partner. You would have spent the day doing
things that made you feel better about yourself. If you're female, you might
have spent some time working through your stress by talking to your girlfriends
about various issues you have, which would have raised your oxytocin levels.
You would have been feeling great!
Yet, when your ex finished work for the day, he would have
been stressed and wound up after a hard day. He has absolutely no desire to
talk about his problems because this increases the wrong type of hormone within
his system. All he wants to do is unwind – maybe solve the problems of the
world sitting in front of the TV for a little while.
But he's now faced with a partner who wants to talk and
share and cuddle and be loving right at that moment where his stress levels are
high and perhaps even unmanageable. He hasn't had a chance to unwind from his
own stressful day yet, but he's now confronted with a partner who's feeling
fine and doesn't seem to understand his needs at all. This is a simple example
but do you see the problem here? Even the best relationships can be destroyed
by these simple hormonal differences between men and women if there's a lack of
understanding about them.
Of course, there are relationships that go wrong for other
reasons.
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